No microwaves please, we're babies

There is no health reason to feed a baby warmed milk it is a matter of what your baby prefers or gets used to. When you're ready to feed your baby, you can warm a bottle in a pan of hot but not boiling water, or by running it under the tap, you can also buy a bottle warmer designed for this purpose, it is not a good idea to warm bottles in the microwave as it can destroy the nutrients and it is suggested that there could be pockets of heat. Try to get your baby accustomed to drinking bottles at room temperature or cold you save yourself the time and hassle of preheating bottles, especially when they are crying to be fed, or your somewhere where you can't warm the milk.

Is tap water ok ?

You would be amazed how many new mums are using expensive bottled water to mix with their formula. They say it is purer and therefore safer for their baby. Rubbish we say it is just that the media has so many women neurotic about what they should and should not give to their babies that they have gone slightly mad.
The truth is that unless you live in an area where there is a problem with the drinking water supply or your midwife tells you to there is no need to even boil the water.

Many mums in the early months do boil the water and then mix it with the formula when its cooled our tip is to save money boil enough for the whole days feeds and keep it in the fridge then its ready when the screaming begins and you don't have to wait for it to boil and cool when its needed now. If you warm your milk and there is no need to if your baby will take it cold, remember not to put it in the microwave as it can cause hot spot as and destroy the nutrients

Is boiling bottles enough?

Our simple answer is yes it is enough, boiling water kills the bacteria. If you want to you can buy a sterilizer at any baby store and use it, but we have found through talking to mothers that many didn't use conventional sterilisers they simply used boiling water just like their mothers before them it is interesting to note that most of the first time mums who responded said that they used a steriliser, and most second and third water.

Process
Before using bottles, nipples, and rings, you should submerge them in a pot of boiling water for at least five minutes. Then allow them to dry on a clean towel. After that, a good cleaning in hot, soapy water or a cycle through the dishwasher should be enough. The choice of how to clean them is yours it is just important that they are cleaned thoroughly.

How often should I bottle feed?

As we mentioned in the previous post you will be bombarded with opinions on how often you should feed your child. If you are bottle feeding talk it over with your mid wife and then make the decision based on you your baby and the needs of your family. Most feeding experts i.e. mums, would seem to be in agreement that you shouldn't follow a rigid schedules in the early weeks, it doesn’t work and can make you feel inadequate. You may be able to work out an approximate pattern within a month or two.
Until the baby reaches about 10 pounds, they will probably take one to three ounces per feeding. Try not to force more than they are ready to eat. Your mid wife should advise you about suitable amounts for your baby as they grow.

How often should I breast feed?

Everyone seems to have a opinion on how often a baby should be fed, other mothers, parents, often strangers will offer unsolicated advice becaouse they have children. You can choose to feed on demand or at a set times, 2 hours apart, 4 hours apart, the choice at the end of the day is yours. It is a minefield, our advice for what it is worth is talk it over with your mid wife, get her advice and then do what suits you and your family, just don't be too hard on yourself at first it takes several weeks to get a routine going.

If you choose to feed on demand there are signs to pick up on before they start cry with hunger. Look out for them;

1. putting a finger in the mouth,
2. Turning the head from side to side looking for the breast.
3. Try to find a breast when they are being held
4. Trying to feed on other woman’s breasts

You will soon see the signs and get to know your own baby and manage to avoid the tears. It can be very tiring to feed on demand many women say they know how a cow feels but some people feel it is beneficial as it keeps milk supplies strong.

Not matter how often you choose to feed the key to being able to have a life and not feel that you are purely a milk making machine is to express. Expressing milk and storing it in the fridge for some one else to feed can help to alleviate this feeling and allow you the freedom to get on with other things in you life. Expressing the milk will allow you to leave the baby either to go out or to go back to work, it can give your partner time with your child and more than any thing it can give you some sleep occasionally while some one else takes on the night feeds.

Tips on breast feeding

During the early days the nipple is trying to get used to being taken into baby's mouth and baby is learning how to feed from the nipple, this can result is sore nipples and can put some woman off breast feeding.

It's important for both of you to be relaxed and comfortable, that is sometimes easier said than done but you may be feeding for an hour or so, make sure you at least have a pillow under your arm to help support the baby. A baby may not yet know how to open their mouth quite wide enough, if this happens, you can squeeze out a little milk from your breast, open baby's mouth with your clean finger, and put a little milk in to start baby off. Wait for the baby's mouth to open, then guides the breast in - not just the nipple. To suck properly, the baby squeezes the area behind the nipple with his or her whole mouth. When the baby finishes sucking the first breast, put your finger into the baby's mouth to release the sucking, and then offer the other breast. And next feed, start the other way round. When the baby has had enough, he or she will just usually fall asleep. It is important to use both breast equally as the child’s sucking stimulate the milk production. Each time you feed, you should stay on one breast until it feels empty that is usually at least ten to fifteen minutes. The main reason for this is that it is thought that the milk that comes at the end of a feed is much richer and more satisfying than what come at the start.

If your nipples get sore you can use ice to cool them, or a bag of frozen peas, there are products on the market that are safe to use for cracked and sore nipples during breast feeding but be sure to read the label before you use it you don’t want to poison the little mite!

Breast feeding, the benifits

It is recommended that women who don't have any health problems should try to give their baby’s breast milk for at least six months. Breast feeding offers many benefits to the baby, breast milk contains the right balance of nutrients to help your baby grow into a strong and healthy toddler. Some of the nutrients in breast milk also help protect your baby against some childhood illnesses and infections by boosting their immune system.
The most important period in establishing breastfeeding is the first week. Take heart the earliest days are the hardest, but with a little knowledge it does get better! The earlier you put the baby to the breast, the earlier the breast milk should come. The breasts work on a supply and demand basis. In the first few hours and days your breasts produce a thin, cloudy, yellow substance called colostrum and it is of enormous value to your baby. There is absolutely no substitute for colostrum in doing good for your baby. It gives him or her protection against disease that will last for several months. Don't let it go to waste! If you find it too difficult to breast feed try using a breast pump to retrieve this precious liquid.

Sleeping problems

It is just a simple fact that all children are different, some may be great at sleeping others not and others can suffer from a myriad of sleep problems, some are listed below

Night terrors - the child wakes up screaming, it appears terrorized with its eyes open or closed and it does not seem to respond to you

Waking during the night - This is the most common complaint, the baby wakes up many times during the night this may be for short or extended periods.

Problems getting to sleep - The baby requires long and often highly demanding rituals before it will fall asleep.

Nightmares - the child wakes up frightened but responds quickly to the parents and calm down with their help.

Rocking backwards and forwards and or head banging movements - the child uses body rocking and or head banging as they are trying to fall asleep or during the night.

If you have tried to get your child into a routine and have failed or if you are in any way worried about your child’s sleep problems it is best to raise the issue with a medical professional just to rule out any possible medical causes for the problems. If there are no medical causes there are many ways to help with these problems its just a matter of persevering till you find the right one for you so don't despair you will sleep again.

7 ways to help yoour baby get a better nights sleep

It is thought that a newborn will spend around two-thirds of each day asleep (lucky buggers!). Sleep in general is important for physical recuperation, physical growth, the immune system, brain development, learning, memory, and information processing as well as many other systems of the brain and the human body. It is a medical fact that during REM (rapid eye movement) sleep your child's brain cells are making important connections. These synapses, as they're called, are the pathways that enable all learning, movement, and thought. They are the key to your child understanding all they are seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, and smelling as they explore the world. You can see how amazingly important it is so it is little wonder that babies who don't get enough sleep or sleep poorly often have a difficult temperament and this can be very stressful to their parents.

Another interesting fact is that there has been a suggested link between poor infant sleep pattern and poor adult sleep patterns. With this in mind it is important to try to develop a routine, it is not really worth trying to set a sleep routine in the first few months, it is best to be led by your baby's needs. During these months your baby's sleep, or lack of it, will be affecting you. It's normal to feel tired as broken sleep and night feeds interrupt your routine it is best to try to get sleep where you can.

Unlike us newborns will tend to sleep through most noises and wake only when hungry it is worth noting that a baby who seems very sleepy a lot of the time and who doesn't wake to feed may be ill, so don't assume a baby like this is 'being good'. Contact a health professional if you're worried. It is worth bearing in mind that although nutritionally, breastfeeding is best for babies, breastfed babies do sleep more lightly, and will probably wake more often.

By the age of about six to eight months, your baby can probably manage without a night feed and might sleep for six to eight hours, but remember, not all sleep and feeding patterns are the same. Your baby has to learn how to fall asleep and how to get back to sleep when she wakes during the night.

Tips on getting a good nights sleep
It is important that you teach you child good sleeping habits as early as possible this involves

1. Helping your baby to distinguish between daytime and night-time, this can be achieved by keeping your child's room dark and quiet at night, and having half an hours quiet play, or a bath before they go to sleep, giving them a quiet last feed or to read to your child in a quiet gentle voice or play them a lullaby, whatever you choose to do try to do the same things every night.


2. If you want your baby to learn to settle themselves, it's best to try to put them down in their cot before they fall asleep, this builds an association between sleep and their cot. Try to identify when they are tired and respond appropriately with the same routine. If your child gets used to falling asleep in your arms with you cuddling or stroking them, they may have problems settling alone.


3. Try to stick to the same simple routine before bedtime every night and try to make it around the same time every night.


4. It is normal and best to allow your child to cry for a short period when you put them to bed you must stop yourself from rushing to them or fussing over them, it can be hard but it is in their interests, but do not leave a crying baby for too long. In many cases just waiting a few moments will see your baby calm down and fall asleep without any help.


5. If you do not want your child to be in your bed, do not start a routine where they come in if they wake as this will escalate and is difficult to change, try to feed in their room if they are still feeding during the night and then put them back in their bed and wait a few moments for any tears to subside. There is no need to purposely wake-up a baby for feedings if the babies are healthy and developing well, as their sense of hunger will dictate the schedule.


6. Sleeping during the day will not usually influence their nigh time sleep, and therefore, try not to prevent this happening they need the rest.


7. It is not a good idea to use a duvet, quilt or pillow until your baby is over one year old.

As with most things in life there are no hard and fast rules about sleep it is a case of what works best for you and your child

Babies first bath

They must have a bath every day! Many parents and babies love bath time, but there's no evidence that suggests babies must have a daily bath so if they are not dirty then try every other day. However make sure you wash their face frequently and thoroughly, cleaning their genital area after each nappy change, and cleaning off any other obvious muck, will be enough to keep them clean between baths.

The first bathing experience can be a bit nerve racking for a new parent you may find it a little hard to handle your little one when they are all soapy and slippery, so keep a good grip. Most babies find the warm water very soothing and enjoy bath times but if you have one who hates it or likes wriggling then it maybe a good idea to get a bath seat there are many on the market and they take the fear out of the whole experience. Many baby baths are adjustable in height and have seat in them so it takes the kneeling over the bath out of the equation.

Step by step guide to the first bath

1. Prepare - Before getting your child ready for the bath it is important that you get everything that you will need ready as you can not leave the child unattended in the bath to get something you have forgotten

2. Check the temperature - Make sure the room is warm and the bath water is just warm but not hot, there are some great thermometers on the market that take the worry out of this but if you use none still always check with your elbow it’s the best thermometer you will ever have.

3. Fill the bath - If you child is a newborns or up to six months old, only fill the bath with about five inches of water, or enough to allow your baby to lye in the water with his shoulders well covered or follow the directions on the seat if you have got one.

4. Undress - the baby completely.

5. Place in bath - Slowly ease them into the bath, using one hand to support their neck and head.

6. Wash them - Use baby soap very sparingly as you wash them with your hand or a flannel or sponge from top to bottom, front to back. Wash the scalp with a wet, soapy cloth. It is best to use a piece of moistened cotton wool to clean their eyes, nose and face.

7. Rinse - your baby thoroughly with a clean flannel.

8. Wrap your baby in a towel and pat dry - once their skin is dry, then this is a good time to apply baby moisturiser, the one to choose is dependant on your child skin so its a case of trial and error, it is best to try any new product on a little patch before you put it all over if there is no reaction after 24 hours then is probably safe to use, very sparingly.

Stopping the tears

Most of the time babies cry for a reason, we know it doesn’t feel that way but it is true. They cry because they want something to eat, or they have a wet nappies, they are cold, hot, fed up, in pain, tired, they are just like us except we have developed better ways of dealing with our feeling and needs.

The place to start with a crying baby is to find the source, logical we know but it can be hard to think when a child is crying its head off. First place to start is are they hungry? Is their nappy dirty. Next try, Are they too hot or cold check that the temperature in the room is OK? Check that they are not sweating or that they have a temperature. If they are not sick, hungry, wet then most likely they have wind or they are just fed up try some or all of these tricks.
Try winding your child it is amazing how much wind a baby can have and it is often the cause of persist ant crying as they have no way to relive it themselves.
Sounds silly but try rocking your child they love movement so gentle rock them or put them up to your shoulder and move around the floor with them, good exercise but can be trying if it 4 in the morning.

Babies love noise so make noises as they were use to the sound of their mothers heart in the womb, try talk or to sing or try some music or TV in the back ground. Often singing and gently rocking a child often has the desired affect, the oldies are often still the goodies.
Placing the baby next to your skin works well, take off your shirt and place the baby on your chest alternatively use a sling that means you can get on with things while you try it.

Finally sometimes kids are just going to cry and sometimes what they want is for you to listen. If your baby's not in pain, they are not hungry, tired, or wet, and they don't want to be held or rocked, then let them cry, at for a shot while or as long as you can stand it, many babies quickly realise that they are not going to win and just simply go back to sleep.

Being a mother and a wife

Did you know a huge proportion of relationships break up within the first year of having a baby, seems mad but it is true, one of the causes we believe is that woman become so obsessed with being a mum that they forget to be a woman. We know there as some many factors that have changed , hormones, tiredness, stress, the constant smell of baby sick, milk etc.

Some one once said to me that the key to surviving your first year of motherhood with your brain and your husband in tact was to make sure come rain or shine you make time for your husband, doesn't have to be a lot of time one night a month when somebody else is responsible for the baby and you go out for a meal cook at home anything all that matters is that you do something together.

It works it gives you both something to look forward too, it gives you both a chance to catch up with each other and what has been happening. It makes your husband feel wanted, many men feel surplus to requirement when a child is born its not their fault it is just that they often don't have as much time to learn to parent as a mother does.

Try it, there is always a way and it is worth the effort.

Nicole Kidman looks Fabulous after birth of baby

Nicole Kidman was spotted out and about with husband Keith Urban for the first time since giving birth to Sunday Rose on July 7. For a change it seems that a celebrity is not making a huge profit out of having a baby. Nicole already looks fabulous! Of course she was slender the whole way through her pregnancy so it's no big surprise there. Wouldn't we all like to know how we could look that good, most of us don't feel like leaving the house never mind leaving them!

Me time should not be dirty words

Most mums (the ones who are honest anyway) find that when they arrive home with their new baby everything isn't quite how they picture it. Many are sore and tired and they have somebody in the house who is invading their space on the premise of helping with the baby.

A few days after the birth a troop of well meaning friends and family come to coo over what you have produced, this would be great if you had had any sleep and you didn't still feel the size of a small family car, a state that you foolishly thought would have changed after you had given birth (well all the celebrities are back in pre baby jeans the next day, so why oh why do you still feel nine months pregnant). Every body wants to take pictures of you and the baby as if they didn't get enough horror's to fill an album when you were giving birth.

Take heart things do calm down people go back to their normal lives after a few weeks and your extra help decides you can now cope and the house is once again quiet, except for the ear piercing yells of a hungry baby. When this happens some of us suddenly realise that we are completely responsible for a new life, there is little room for our own feelings and needs as we become obsessed with making sure that we are a perfect mum.

Before you fall in that trap be aware that that way madness lies, if you completely forget who you are and what makes you happy you will wake up in five years when your precious child goes to school and not know what the hell to do with yourself, its a mistake so many women make and then regret at their leisure.

We are not saying that being a mother is not an important or a full time job, on the contrary we think its the most important job with the longest hours imaginable, what we are saying is that a woman is not a 24/7 slave she has the right to time off, its just a case of finding a balance between being a mother and being a woman.

From day one it is important to make sure that you take time to do things for you, it doesn't have to be days it just has to be me time, a few hours guaranteed every week where you do no house work or anything for anybody else. You simply do some thing completely selfish, have a coffee with the girls, go to the beauty therapist, go window shopping, anything just as long as you have no responsibility for any one but yourself. We have discovered it is best to leave the house because if you are there then the temptation is great for who ever is looking after your child to just ask questions and before you know it you have been dragged back into family life and your me time is gone.
Trust us it works, you will be happier and the knock on effect of that is that your whole family will benefit from a calmer mum.

Oh my god I am a mum!

Don't you think it is weird that even though we have months to get used to the idea we are still so shocked when they arrive. Many women would do anything to get the baby out, but the minute it comes out the fear arrives and we spend the rest of the time wishing that we could put them back in so that they are safe and we can protect them from the horror of the world we have brought them into. Being a parent is just one long string of worry, we worry that they have all their bits in the right place, then we worry that we will be able to look after them, that they will grow properly, that we are feeding them enough, they are getting enough sleep and don't get me started on the fears when they are away from you. I can only surmise that it gets easier as my own parents seem to have coped with all the madness that I have brought down on them.

I know that all this worry is so stupid and irrational, if something happens we will deal with it and I know I can't ward bad things off by imagining them. The thing is that we are just used to pleasing ourselves and if we stuff up then we only have ourselves to blame. But now we are responsible for a new life and want to avoid them having years of therapy in adulthood complaining about how their parents ruined their lives.

It's the parents I blame! That's a statement you hear often but isn't it the case that most parents are just trying to do the best they know how and are simply praying that it is enough to keep their kids out of harms way. Nobody wants to bring up a thug do they? The whole bloody thing seems like a minefield and everybody has an opinion on what you should do, I am starting to wish I had been one of those modern women who stays childless, has a wonderful life and is genuinely happy without children!